Tony’s Rant

I’m watching the new bond movie, “Casino Royale” (yes, I waited for it to come out on DVD) - which was actually first made in 1967 as sort of a “spoof” staring David Niven as an aged Bond coming out of retirement to solve one more case. I have to say, I’m thoroughly NOT impressed so far.

Ignoring the fact that it seems they are “starting over” in a sense, I’m not really sure as knowing the rest of the Bond legacy, it’s a bit confusing where we are at the moment - POST cold-war and he’s JUST been promoted to 00 status? - The IMAGE of Bond has a certain requirement we have come to EXPECT. Bond is debonair, gadgets (even the rough and tumble Pierce Brosnan - the best Bond so far, in my opinion - relied on gadgets), sexy women, sex appeal, and smart execution of every move. I don’t know if they are trying to “bring it down to earth” or what, but it’s not a Bond movie without these elements.

The First thing I noticed was that it was the first Bond movie I have seen that didn’t have the classic “da da duh duh” (you know what I’m talking about if you are a Bond fan) in the title song SOMEWHERE. Then the movie starts and he does quite an impressive chase…right into an embassy where he is FILMED shooting an unarmed tail, which makes the papers. The following scenes, we are given shots of his utilizing his cell phone for things such as navigation - what so special about that? This is the highest level of gadgetry we see so far. His scenes in the Bahamas where he is trying to find the “money behind the terrorist”, he’s quite rude. Now a bomber has placed a bomb of apparently higher sophistication than any of the gadgets Bond has on a fuel tanker and has torn up the airport in the process of trying to get the tanker to the plane that is about to be blown up - yet planes are still taking off. ANYONE who has EVER been in an airport in the last few years knows that ANYTHING that extreme happening at an airport would ground EVERYTHING immediately and have the whole place crawling with law enforcement within minutes. At the Casino Royale…Bond not knowing how to dress? His female accomplice seems more aggravated with him than willing to help him…previous Bonds would NEVER have these problems. And POKER?!?! Poker is not Bond’s game (Texas Poker no less) - baccarat is Bond’s game! The longer I watch this, the less Bond-like this whole movie seems.

LoL…he just gave himself digitalis by external jugular vein. As a paramedic (retired), I know how difficult it can be to hit an EJ at times, much less blindly jabbing a needle into one’s own neck with a blind sweep and hitting the vein.

Previous Bonds were intelligent killing machines that relied on their wits, their charisma, and their gadgetry to accomplish the mission. Daniel Craig is a hammer - a blunt instrument used by the British Government to hit the bad guys over the head, without thought and without any sense of style or grace.

Daniel Craig has become my LEAST favorite Bond of all time with this movie. He doesn’t seem British (I know he’s not) - even Sean Connery’s accent made HIM seem more British than Daniel Craig. Timothy Dalton, my previous least favorite Bond, even played Bond with more style and grace than Daniel Craig did.

I don’t know what they were thinking with this movie - re-inventing the franchise? Making Bond more “real”? Whatever they were thinking, it was a BAD MOVE. People don’t go to the movies for REALITY - they have enough reality in day to day life! When are the movie companies going to realize this?!? They want FANTASY - and BOND is supposed to be a testosterone laden romp of espionage, sex, and cool gadgets - THAT is what made Bond famous. THAT is what has made Bond survive for 25+ years. If they continue with this “new formula”, the next Bond movie may be the last. I’m extremely disappointed with this movie and feel betrayed that an ICON has been corrupted and cheapened to the point of a dumb professional hit man. He has no style…no grace…and definitely no class. I guess we are supposed to forget the past 20 movies ever existed and take this piece of junk as “Bond Cannon” now…I refuse to do so. There is a reason bond has been successful this many years…and this isn’t it.